I have been weepy a lot lately. Little things set me off – and today brought a lot of it to the forefront. Since I saw the initial pictures, with blood everywhere, Boston has not left my mind.
I try to keep down my emotions, but something is going on in my brain and I don’t know what. Maybe I am learning empathy, I am not sure. I could not watch the end of the episode in the third season of Parenthood when Julia realized she wasn’t bringing the baby home.
I think what breaks my heart the most is that as a parent, my constant worry is my child being hurt somehow. I have an active imagination, so it comes up with some doozies, but today, I have another item to fear: family friendly events. No one taking their children to the Boston Marathon thought their kid would get hurt – not a single worry. But an 8 year old died. A 3 year old got hurt. Tons of other people got hurt. All for what? We don’t even know yet…
Is a political agenda worth it? Is proving how bad the United States is worth it? I think about all the other mommies who learn in other countries their sons and daughters are dead because of our country and to mean, it seem just like a huge bean counting game that no one will win at. No one. But so many will die in vain. To vindicate something that may not even be around in 100 years. That won’t go to the grave with us. That the after life won’t care about – if there is one.
When does the madness and chaos stop? Because our thoughts and actions and hearts are not for the children – because if they were, the senseless craziness would not occur.