One of the obstacles I have struggled the most to overcome is the feeling of guilt because I have to go back to work. Now, I don’t really want to be a stay at home mom, but 43 hours a week away from my little bird…it’s tough. Tougher than it probably should be.
I went back to work less than two weeks after little bird was born. It makes me sad sometimes to think that I could not have prepared more, or had my shit together more in order to take more time off. However, due to my crappy ways with money, it’s all I could afford.
Today was payday and I got my state return. I could feel myself slipping into the old ways of buying things because I think I have money in my account. In reality, I just money till I pay bills tomorrow money.
Which leads me to my next phase, buying groceries this weekend and buying enough so I don’t have to buy again for 2 weeks. It is scary to think about it, but I think I will be okay at it. It is part of my attempt to save money.
Also, as part of the process, I am not going to be writing checks for awhile. Instead, I will be taking out money orders to pay rent and then pay cash or my debit card for everything else. I am hoping it will help me realize the money I actually have and not what I want to have.