The Post Partem Stress Project

Post partem depression is a bitch. I really really dislike how everything makes me emotional, everything makes me sad, and the overwhelming feelings of guilt and despair do not help one bit.  The more I try to feel better, the worse I end up feeling.

Also, my ex has the trial he is the plaintiff in coming up. I just really want that episode of my life to go away. I think I may need closure, but I am not sure what. I sacrificed six months of my life (well, more than that), spent money, went into debt on student loans, and now deal with horrible PTSD and anxiety flare ups.  Ever since I got the subpoena for 2/5, I have just been a bundle of nerves.  I couple this stress with my defaulted student loans, my medical bills, my already impending debt, the fear of not being able to buy a new vehicle with my tax return, being a shitty parent, not having enough time to be a good mom because I have to work 40+ hours a week, keep my own house, and try to eat sometimes. 

I just want a break. For ten minutes. No stress.  I think that is why I drank. And now, since I can’t, I waiver between sanity and absolute despair.

I just really need a break. The universe needs to cut me some slack.

Where is my mind?

So effing excited! I made this cute lil girl!  She is 11 weeks old, and is quite adorable.

However, I wish someone had warned me how lonely being a mommy, especially a single mommy, would be.  You lose friends. Family shows their true colors.  Life gets hard hard hard. And sometimes, it would just be nice if someone texted me or called me to say hello.

I just want to share my journey of being a working mom, loving my daughter, and trying to keep my sanity and strength through it all.  I will attempt to do crafts, share ideas, review current events, and post adorable photos of my lil’ sack of potatoes.

 

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